The Need

I feel its time to finally come out and admit it, I am a hoarder. Since a young age, a fear has bubbled in me of throwing away lots of things. For instance, until a few years ago, I still had EVERY SINGLE McDonalds toy, I had ever received. And don't even get me started on the bottom drawer of my old ar-moire, home to a multitude of emptied candy boxes and Starburst bags. I can't quite explain what compels me to it, it's not so much as a fear of losing the items, but a physical resistance to getting rid of them. It's not just garbage either, I have old shirts and pants, things I will never wear again but cannot part with. I have my old Lego's and my Army Men, I'm not gonna use 'em but I can't get rid of them. It's moved over from the physical things now also, That's right, I horde Emails, ALL my Emails! I put them all in their special folders, even spam. It's a condition I live with, and I will have to keep living with forever.

Seperation Anxiety

So on this fine Monday, like most Mondays, I arrived at school at around 8 O'clock in the morning, to await my start of classes. I sit now, in the cafeteria of Saddleback Community College, listening to Modest Mouse and typing out this blog, and all I can do is complain about all the people in here with me. I've never quite understood why my mind does this, but since a young age, I will look at someone I have never met before and instantly dismiss them as someone I dislike, or accept them as someone I do like. As I look around the cafeteria and moodily turn my iPhone volume higher and higher trying to drown out the racket of a hundred people's conversations, I see all these people, and realize that many of them, I will never meet. Now with many, that's not such a bad thing from what I can tell, but it has always struck me as odd, just how many people there are, and just how few of them I actually know. There are upwards of six billion people on Earth, and in my lifetime, I will get to know the tiniest fraction of them. To think about the sheer numbers of people, who will never have a noticeable significance on my life is astounding. All those people, each have individual lives, and individual goals and dreams, and yet, to me, it all goes by unnoticed as I subconsciously dismiss each of them into the dislike category.

-"Dislike"-

A New Blog Begins (Whiny British Kid)

Recently a lot of people have told me I need to start blogging, to get some ideas out, and relieve stress or whatever, so I have finally caved and started blogging again. It has been years since I last had a blog. Not since the pre-pre-Facebook days, back when the cool thing was Xanga, if you can remember back then. To me the idea of blogging is odd. I'm gonna spend time writing out things I think for you all to read, no knowing (or caring) if you're interested, and yet, knowing me, it will become a major part of my life, dedicating time each day to write a new on. Or maybe just a little time once a week... Well for now, all I know is that this blog may come off as whiny or, annoying, but as mentioned above, I don;t really care, I'm just here to write. Well thanks for your time, now onto my blogging!